Bullshit Is Easy. Comedy Is Hard.

This is the Pink News post I commented on.

If y'all ever wonder why I isolate myself so much, it is because of bullshit like this. And on today of all fucking days. This is in reference to the Facebook comment thread on a Pink News post on Father's Day 2025.

I made a joke in the comments in reference to this meme. I adore the sentiment of a cishet father telling his LGBTQIAP+ child that essentially, "No matter what flag you fly, I will be the flagpole to support you."

My joke: As soon as I sit on a pole, they can no longer be called straight...🤔

I thought this joke was kawaii and clever. It has double entendre as any consensual sexually active person can see(Lots of things bend during sex.). And it makes an allusion that if a cishet person would have sex with me, IN MY OPINION, that cishet person would be HET no more. I assert they would be queer. This is a truth that I hold, obtained through logic.

Many people gave me positive emotes for this joke.

There was one person though... who responded by "thinking that I sounded like" I was "a crossdressing man" and said also, I was "transphobic" because of my joke.

I defended myself. He kept doubling and tripling down on his bullshit. Claiming he was bisexual, embraces fully his queerness, without defining what he meant about his queerness, and kept on mansplaining to this transwoman. He should have put his shovel away.

I have removed Facebook from my Home Screen on my phone. No more social media. Done. Fuck these assholes. I am not commenting on any post ever again that is in an open forum or group. Facebook is for finding events and cross-promotion. That's it.

I am finding this interchange very hard to let go.

So, I am typing out my reasons for why it is hard to let go. And now, I am posting it publicly for all to see, sanitized of names. But, you could go to Pink News on FB and find the post. Make your own judgements about me. People always do. This writing is really for my own self-care and mental health.

1. A man or masculine identifying person, especially whites, telling me/criticizing me about anything already puts me on the defensive.

   • This is a trauma reaction.

2. He started the conversation thread with insults and disrespect.

   • Calling a transwoman or non-binary or genderfluid feminine presenting person "a crossdressing man" and "transphobic" without even a shred of personal knowledge about that person is the literal wrong way to have a conversation. It starts a fight, not a debate or a heated discussion.

   • In response, I did say to him in response to his disrespect "Considering I have transitioned, and that you do not know me or my sense of humor or my perspective on sexuality, you sound judgemental and humorless." This response, in my opinion, was a lucid, respectful, well thought out, measured response to his vulgar, brazen attack. You can see in my response how I ascribe to the aikido principles of conflict:

     • Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced.

3. If he is truly bi and queer, he is a sibling in stripes. And this exchange rubs close to my community trauma.

   • There were/are queers and trans people in my local area who do not accept me, have traumatized me, who were/are in positions of power within the Saint Louis Metro LGBTQIAP+ community.

   • I spoke to that power and I was ostracized and made a pariah for it. I also received death and rape threats. And after those threats were made, I was raped and sexually assaulted by three individuals. If they were the ones who made the threats or were connected to those people in power I spoke out to, I have no idea. The Saint Louis Metropolitan Police would not investigate because I was trans and was "asking for it" by being dressed in gender affirming clothing.

4. What a douche bag.

5. Can you believe what an ignorant asshat he is?

6. He is an illustration of exactly why the LGB has privilege over the TQIAP+.

   • They stream this narrative of superiority and cannot even admit to themselves that they are different from cishets because in the current idiom they know they are the only acceptable sexualities and genders by MAGA are LGB and binary gender.

   • Cishets accept you. They do not accept us. If you cannot see how that gives you privilege, sweet jeebus help you.

7. He is a fool. Thankfully, I am not.

8. Bisexuality is defined as those who are sexually attracted to cis males and cis females.

   • If a named/declared bisexual is sexually attracted to transwomen, transmales, non-binaries, gender fluid people, THEY ARE NOT BISEXUAL. Which is EXACTLY MY FUCKING POINT with my joke. I could even reword it for bisexuals:

     • If I sat on a bisexual's flagpole, it would be PANSEXUAL.

   • I had a thought one day while working on my memoirs that since I have had an incongruent body, does that mean my pansexuality was invalidated until I could make my body be congruent? Is sexuality simply a thought inside my head? Or is it a part of the soul? And what does my pansexuality mean for those people who I have been physically intimate with who at the time identified as a different or hetero sexuality?

     • It is my opinion that since I am the way that I am and they were or are the way they are, does it not make them a little bit queer?

9. Cis gender and TRANS GENDER are wholly different.

   • This douche bag may think that "born-that-way" genitals and surgically corrected genitals are the same but, not validating that difference is both disrespectful and erasing.

     • Being pansexual, genitals have never mattered except only in how I can help another person achieve some kind of ecstasy. I would fuck a Vulcan and fulfill a Lifelong dream of becoming a "Pan-Galactic Sexual". Every humanoid and non-humanoid character that I have ever read in all those books that cram my brain organ with endless fantasy, I have wished to fuck. Their genitals could be upon what a human would call knees. Or on their shoulder blades. I would not care about location, shape, taste, scent, lubricity, color or size. Teach me how to make it work and I will play until you pass out.

     • And that's another thing, humans have more than just one erogenous zone. I have coumed from nibbles on my neck. I have made others coum from all sorts of other places on their bodies. I have always viewed sexual pleasure with individuals as a brand new musical instrument to learn. Every one is different. A clit or a dick, or a clitenis, or a lady cock, or a cocklit, or a front hole, or a bussy, or a boy cunt, or a bunny tail, or the trail to your duderus, ALL are just one spot on a human body.

10. Above all else, I am very proud of how I handled myself today.

    • It shows me that I have healed up some from my trauma and that I am strong enough to defend myself in the face of bullshit being slung at my face.

    • It also shows me that there is a need for so much conversation amongst siblings on how we can STOP HURTING AND TRAUMATIZING each other, how we can END CLIQUES within our communities and STOP USING THE TOOLS OF OUR OPPRESSORS against our own siblings in stripes. I feel that I would be needed in that space of discussion.

    • My ultimate goal is to bring peace and Love to all. I feel that I am getting stronger to do just that.

      
      

I gave myself this online space for this purpose. And to have a place to no longer suffer in silence. I will get things wrong. I will make mistakes. If we can speak in respectful, gentle voices, our souls can be expanded and healed. Fighting just to win is and always will be more lethal than cancer.

Love is the cure.